Poem: Her Facebook has it


John Cooper Clarke

I wrote this poem the other day.  I had been listening to the wonderful Salford poet John Cooper Clarke and thought I would try to emulate his style….(as if!)  I have used Facebook as a theme because whenever I go there, I am always fascinated by the massive amount of ‘friends’ people seem to have.  Anyone can apply to be a ‘friend’ , some don’t even know who these ‘freinds’ are!   Some of the profile pictures are hilarious – I’ve even seen Hitler as someones profile picture.  The other thing about Facebook is that people are such liars about themselves, it’s a kind of ‘anything goes’ place.  So that was where the inspiration came from and this is what happened:-

Her Facebook Has It


Her Facebook page is on your screen,

Suppress that smirk as you watch her preen,

Her Day-glo ass like a tangerine –

The Clockwork Orange of a nasty dream.

The grinning mass of her airbrushed face

A sickly mask hiding her disgrace,

Talk about arsenic and very old lace!

She’s there for the kill – forget the chase.

‘Looking for Lurve’ states the brass-faced mare,

(And any old cash that you’ve got to spare)

Abandon hope all who enter there

As she lures you into her bijou lair.

3000 ‘friends’ joining in the game,

Even Pope John Paul’s in her hall of fame,

A barefaced liar that feels no shame.

The greasy embers of a burnt out flame.

Ten years younger than her Dinosaur age,

A Terrorhawk wonder on the rampage

Every profile picture – a darker shade of beige,

Click to see her boogie on a makeshift stage.

Throwing back Sambuca’s in dramatic pose,

Strutting like an ostrich in her too tight clothes

Such a party person –  but here’s one who knows

That when the party’s over it will end in blows.

©L. M. Roberts 2010

John Cooper Clark image by Nick Hider – with thanks 🙂

I’ve wrote a post about this poet HERE

But for a look at the ‘Master’ in action – and how it should be done clickHere and enjoy!

My other poetry experiments;

Haiku: Three for March

Finding the words (freeverse)

Drowned in sound (dark)

14 Responses to “Poem: Her Facebook has it”

  1. […] moment and enjoying it – which is the whole point of my blogging!     The latest one is HERE and very different in style than the […]

  2. Such a sad but true reflection of what Facebook has become for so many. The style of poetry suits you well. I am in awe of wordsmiths when it comes to poetry. I appreciate the skill but need to work on the art and admire those who have a natural ability and passion for poetry. Love your work!

  3. Aw thanks Kimberly! You get the prize of being the first to comment on my occasional poetry….not sure what that prize is though lol! Thanks for visiting both blogs too!!!

  4. […] My latest poem is ‘Her Facebook has it ’ here […]

  5. […] Her Facebook has it    (Humorous) Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)What Poetry meant to Them…. 0.000000 0.000000 Published in: […]

  6. Wish you had asked me first before using my JCC flickr photo in your blog (below). I usually say yes to photo requests, but it’s standard courtesy to include a photo credit. Any chance of remedying this? Ta very much…
    Alexandra Palace, 1983: Communist Party Marx with Sparx People's Jubilee

    • Hi Nick, so sorry I didn’t credit you with the image – for which I apologise. When I first started blogging, I didn’t understand the importance of this so there may be a few early post who haven’t got credited. Thanks for pointing this out, I will rectify this where I can. Sorry again.

    • Nick a link to your good self is now in that particular post. Sorry:-(

  7. Hello – You seem to have deleted the comment I left on this thread yesterday. Please credit me as the photographer of the JCC photo you lifted from my flickr account.


    Nick Hider

    • Nick, sorry, I didn’t just delete your comment -it’s just that I havn’t been around my blogs for a while and I hadn’t read the comments in order to approve and answer them. I’ve rectified my mistake – sorry you thought I had just ignored you, crossed wires I guess.

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